I want what I cannot have. I know that I can’t have it but I wish that I could have made the decision about not having it. Eventhough I would have concurred that having it was probably not best, at least not right now, I still wish I could have had a choice in the matter. I don’t like that I could not choose. And if I could choose, what would I have done? Probably agreed that it was best that I not have it but maybe I would have played with it a little first! Oh well, I can’t do anything about it. I just wanted to vent that I want what I cannot have. And I hate it! But I have to live with it. Okay, moving on.
Gratitude is exhibited in several ways. In this case, self gratitude is very reluctant and usually happens because someone else has pointed out a trait or an accomplishment I have that is significant to them. I tend to think that I am not tall enough or overweight till someone short or morbidly obese tells me that they wish they could be like me. I spent 4 years getting a degree which for a while was stored in my laundry hamper and at this moment I have no idea where it is. But ever so often it takes someone struggling to achieve that very same goal I consider a nonentity to remind me to be proud of my accomplishements. I am a grad. I am 5’10. I am …lbs.lol I have a great job that allows me to travel to all four corners of the world for next to nothing. I have a pretty smile. I have friends who will always be there for me no matter how absent I sometimes am. I have a mother who makes breakfast for me when I come in exhausted from work. I have wonderful family. I am grateful.
So I have been in my home for almost a month now and I am still to take a bath. I get back from work a couple of days ago and decide I am going to spend a sexy time with me. I light some candles, run some bath water, pour myself a glass of wine and get ready to climb into a steaming bath of heaven when my mother calls. My cousin has somehow managed to park her car at the bottom of the hill in the pool house and she needs me because she just cannot deal with it. So what do I the dutiful daughter do? Of course I rush over. I am not quite sure what to expect or what I am going to have to do but I go there nontheless. When I get there, the police are taking statements and the car is quite firmly lodged in the pool house. I do not know how it happened but the story involved confusion between the accelerator and the brake. Either way, 2 inches to the left and she would have hit a light pole, 10 inches to the right and she would have ended up re-enacting an episode of What would you do if… your car crashes into a lake?
I tried. I really did. Besides my bed and kitchen gadgets, my home remains largely unfurnished. The reason for this was that I decided that instead of buying new furniture, I would recycle: get it from someone else. I am a firm believer in being conscious of how we treat our planet. I may be long gone before it gets worse but I still think I have a responsibility to leave as little a carbon footprint as I can. To do so I recycle paper, do not use a dishwasher, brush my teeth in the bath and eventually intend on having a compost heap. I believe that same concept should apply to children; recycle them. I did not want to buy brand new furniture because I was hoping to reduce the amount of trash that makes it to the landfills but I have recently realised that some people think too much of their used items. People! It is used furniture! Your germs and cooties do not make it more valuable than when you bought it. Even a car depreciates the minute you drive it off the lot. Why shouldn’t a couch? I tried freecycle.org but unless you are a stay at home mother with too much time on your hands that 5.5 seconds after an article is listed you have snatched it up: which I am not, that was of no help. Hence I find myself in this predicament: I have to let my mother buy me a brand new sofa! Oh my poor conscience! Then again, she did say there was a Bed bug convention being convened about this bed bug epidemic. Maybe new is not so bad. I guess I can live with it.