My Break-up Letter to Facebook
It’s been what – 4-5 years? Looking back at it, the good times we’ve spent, games we played, fights we’ve won, photos taken and exchanging messages, it cuts me. Right there. Deep in my heart.
You’ve changed so much. I remember how you used to look really plain and simple. You were a minimalist. You hated the games, so we never had them. You didn’t dislike anything. You just like them, and then you say something. A comment, critique or whatever. But now, you’re so complicated I don’t even understand why you have to set up a Timeline for your life.
You’ve changed so much. I remember we used to play pokes. It was fun. But then you decided we’ll play a game with your other friends. That’s when you kept bugging me with Game Requests. Seriously, I don’t want to play Texas Hold ‘Em Poker when I’m messaging my friends.
You’ve changed. So much. You turned completely evil and erogenous. You started to have a lot of friends. A lot of them, that you forget about me. You have so many friends that you have to make RSVPs and pick out who get to go to your party. You couldn’t say ‘My house on Saturday. It’s just going to be a small party’ anymore.
Bloggers, writers and journalists wrote about how incredible you are and how great you are. Even huge celebrities and companies use you for advertisements. With your increasing popularity, Hollywood made a movie about your life. And I wasn’t even there, thanks a lot. Look at how you’ve changed so much.
Then people started to hate because you’ve changed, so much. You took Friendster and Myspace’s friends because they thought you’re cooler. Which led Friendster to commit suicide and Myspace to be a loner. Look at what you did.
You’ve become boastful and bought Instagram for 1 Billion dollars, when you could have just given $532 to the children in Africa in the photo with 532 likes. Really, you’ve changed so much.
Facebook, my dear, all I wanted was for you to be normal and dislike something. And I’m tired of waiting.