My 65 day juice cleanse is officially over!

Today marks the official end of my 65 day juice cleanse and I can’t pin point one single lasting feeling. I am hella proud of myself for completing it. I don’t think I ever doubted myself when I started but I was not so sure of myself before I started it. As I type this, I am filled with extreme pride in myself…I did it! I am  as strong as I know I am and stronger than I ever imagined I could be. I have to say it again so that it can sink in: I went 65 days on fruit and vegetable juice (except for the occasional soup/broth) and did not let myself get tempted by food! I am nostalgic about my cleanse coming to an end. I am scared of what is to come and having to make the right decisions about food. I am scared of ending up back where I started. I am scared this euphoric feeling won’t last… Enough! No more negativity. I just completed a 65 day juice cleanse and I am proud of myself. I is kind. I is beautiful. I is important and I is strong. This cleanse proves that I can do anything I set my mind to. The only thing that can and will stop me is me. I went on this journey because I wanted to reset the relationship I had with food. I grew up eating 3 meals a day with no dessert and only drank sugary drinks on special occasions. When I started this cleanse, I had to have dessert after eating and while I had cut out sugary drinks, not long before that, water was the occasional and often absent liquid in my life. I did not know how to portion control, did not know what to eat or how much to eat. I alternated between starving myself and over feeding my body. While I did not prep properly for the juice cleanse, the decision to embark on the arduous journey was the result of a realization over a 4 month period that I needed to do better with my life. While I know that all the issues I had before the cleanse have not magically disappeared, I feel more confident about confronting and dealing with them, after all I just completed a 65 day juice cleanse! The FAQ I have been getting are:

Q – Do you feel different?

A – Honestly, I don’t. I have read about people feeling lighter, having more energy, clearer skin and clearer thoughts. I have always had tons of energy albeit lazy and I have great skin so there was nothing to measure there. For a while, I felt disappointed that I was not reaching the same higher plane of consciousness some extended juice cleansers were attaining but I have learnt that to each her own and no two journeys will be alike. Besides, I ended up spending more energy stopping myself from eating my co-workers that I did not have time to focus on anything else. You know what? After typing this up I thought about it some more and I have to admit I do feel differently; mentally, I feel stronger. Instead of talking myself out of situations, I can remind myself that I accomplished a near impossible feat to many and conquered it!

Q – How much weight did you lose?

A – While I did not start this cleanse with the sole intention of losing weight, unfortunately it became one of my primary focuses towards the end of the cleanse; the more I lost the more I focused on it I became. In all the years I have been trying to lose weight, I have never had a magic number in mind as I figured I would know when I looked in the mirror. And now 40+ pounds later, the mirror is still silent. A friend once told me to pick an athlete whose body I would like to model myself after and I chose Serena Williams as I believe we have the same body type and this is even more apparent as while I lost 40+ pounds, my hips and butt stayed put while my boobies ran away! ( I am in indefinite mourning for my boobies!)

Q – What is going to be your hugest change post cleanse?

A – As mentioned in a previous post, I had considered becoming a vegan but I have decided instead to simply focus on consuming 90% plant-based nutrition with 10% left for whatever I so choose. At this time I won’t be consuming any meat (animal flesh) and shall do so indefinitely at this time. I don’t have any rousing speeches against anyone who chooses to consume meat nor do I mind anyone doing so around me, I simply choose not to do so.

Q – What is going to be your first meal?

A – Someone asked if I was going to go on a binge. I hoped they were joking but they looked serious. No I am not going to go on a binge and honestly as I type this right this moment, I do not know that I am going to break fast when I wake up. While the plan was to break fast tomorrow I have to admit that I am scared. It seems like my cleanse and I have almost melded identities; I have been doing it for so long that ending it feels like I am losing something (in addition to my beloved boobies). At work everyone knows me as the girl who does not eat, I have gotten used to thinking about what juice to drink or where to go for a juice fix when I am hungry that the thought of figuring out food is scary. I love to cook and I missed it so much that I was very much looking forward to cooking again but now that the time has come, I am apprehensive! Several books I read advised that if I did not feel ready, to continue with the fast until I was and as of now that is what I shall do. So while my 65 day fast is officially over as today is the day I originally chose to end it, I may not be eating today so stay tuned to tonight’s post.

The last couple of posts have mirrored each other but do check out my other blog here which will focus more on the gastronomical and health aspects of my life post cleanse while this blog shall remain my random train of thought dumping ground. And thank you to the bloggers/people who recently started following my blog.