A few days ago, my sister were talking via text when she sent me this:
I created this blog because I love to write but unfortunately I seemed to be suffering from chronic writer’s block at the time. This blog was a way of putting out the random thought that seem to constantly flood my head, the happenings in my life, all in hopes that I would find the drive to start writing regularly again. When I started my 60+ day juice cleanse, I wanted to blog about it but I did not have a functioning computer and therefore I was unable to share the journey on my blog as I know I would surely have done. After I was done laughing my socks off, I realized that I am changing and of course this fact is apparent to those around me. I am currently making decisions that will leave a lasting impact on my life. Now for those who know me as morbid, also know that I am not actively interested in living forever. I just want to live long enough to collect my 401K. Nevertheless, as long as I am going to live with this body, my intention is make sure it is a healthy life therefore this is a major aspect for me and I feel the need to share it as it may help someone else as others have helped me get to where I am today. So dear sister, you are going to have to bear with the juice and vegan talk a little longer.

My last trip to the Farmer's Market. Those are two 10 lb bags of Oranges!
My last trip to the Farmer’s Market. Those are two 10 lb bags of Oranges!

I have been consuming a larger than average amount of orange juice lately and I believe this is because my body is pretty much done with this whole juicing experience and wants food so my usual juice concoctions were not cutting it. I have been going through a bag or two every other day sometimes even a bag a day: a bag contains about 8 oranges. A couple of times this week, I had a friend pick up 4 bags as she headed towards my house. The second time I asked her to stop by the store, she expressed surprise at the fact that I was going through the oranges so quickly. When she said this I could not help but think about all the times I had gone through a box of cookies, a bag of chips, a bottle of soda/pop too quickly and felt guilty about having consumed so much in so little time. A lot of times, I would lie about having shared the snack or having spilled it or even plumping up the bag to make it look like there was more in it. However, presently I am very proud that I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables! I have read from people who say that there is no moderation when it comes to fruits and vegetables as they are healthy and one cannot over do it on healthy. While I am not entirely convinced that I agree with those statements, I know that as long as I keep eating the right foods and including exercise in my life, I should feel no shame about what I eat nor feel the need to hide evidence of my eating habits.

I have been getting a lot of questions lately about my weight loss and juicing habits. I am more than happy to answer anyone’s questions about my routine and juice recipes but lately I am starting to feel like when I am asked questions, they are purely from a weight loss stand point. I have admitted that towards the end of my cleanse weight loss became a more prominent factor but it is still not the primary reason why I started this cleanse. I have tried to explain this to people when they ask questions but I get one of two reactions: either they think I am holding out on my weight loss secrets or they seem to become impatient and keep redirecting me to talk about the weight loss. While I have become an inspiration to quite a few, prompting them to explore the wonderful world of juicing, I am left feeling responsible for their success and failure. I would hate for anyone to feel like I gave out incorrect information or tried to sabotage their attempts at weight loss. I guess I have to find a way to answer questions that leaves both parties walking away feeling well-informed and comfortable with the exchange.

Update: It is day 70 and I have still not eaten. I am not just scared to eat now I don’t know what to eat! The plan was to break fast with avocado and cucumber but I have no desire to eat them. I am both content to keep juicing but also ready to eat! Conundrum! I have a 5K coming up in 2 weeks and while I am confident about running while juicing, that will put me at close to 100 days on juice and I don’t know that I necessarily want to do that. I feel like I have gone so long without food that I don’t know how to eat anymore. Weird I know. Even weirder? I go to sleep watching videos of people cooking food. Once upon a time, that would have made me ravenous but now I just catalogue the recipes I am going to try when I start eating. As of today, I have decided to end it at 72 days which is in 2 days. We’ll see how that goes.


2 thoughts on “Changes.

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