I feel like musicians or athletes who announce their retirement, put on farewell tours only to come out of retirement months later. I know I was supposed to have broken fast last week but this whole eating business is a lot harder that I thought!
So today is day 72 of my juice cleanse. I did not intend for it to go so long but I just could not make myself eat. It is not that I did not want to, I just could not and the more I thought about it, the more I could see that there were elements of fear behind the inability to make myself eat.
One of my fears is not knowing the proper way to eat. I embarked on this cleanse to reset my system and reset it alright I did. I feel like I have been reduced to a newborn nutritionally. I have to reintroduce solids gradually but I also need to learn how and what to eat.
Another fear is losing the identity I have come to recognize in myself as a juicer. While I will always juice, I think I am going to miss these last months I spent nursing juices and depending on them for nutrition. Not to worry though, I have another 60 – 72 day juice cleanse in my future!
The next is not so much fear as my competitive nature. I do not care much for running or training for races but I absolutely love running the races themselves. What keeps me going during a race is beating the people in front of me. I pick a random person ahead of me and that’s who I am racing until I over take them. Once I do, then I pick someone else. I know I should train so as to prevent injury, but my competitive edge is enough to keep me going in any race I run. Originally, my intention was to do at most a 12 day cleanse but then I met someone who was doing a 60 day cleanse and I just had to do it also. While on the cleanse I read about people who had done 72 day cleanses and I felt that I had to do the same. I toyed with the idea of going 72 days but as the end came closer I was so ready to eat. On day 59, I read about someone who went 100 days and again my competitive edge flared up. A part of me feels like not making it to 100 days is punking out so to speak but I also know it is time for me to eat. I miss cooking, I am ready to savor different flavors, I am ready to challenge myself in the world of solids, it is time.
So I have some garbanzo beans soaking right now for tomorrow we make hummus and break fast! And if not hummus, we’ll eat Avocado! As long as the avocado is ripe. If not we’ll wait till the Avocado ripens! j/k