Day 2

I know the first couple of days are hard and that it will get better but I am so ready for it to get better! I am know I am strange, but I watch cooking videos on YouTube in order to fall asleep. At the beginning of my 72 day fast, I was unable to watch any videos for at least a month but so far I have done so with ease every night. I had a smoothie this morning and made oranges, turnip greens and spicy basil to take to work. I did not finish that but when I got home I was craving something sweet and so I had 2 cups of banana smoothie. I felt greedy having two helpings but I reminded myself that I was indulging in something healthy. On to day 3!

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Juice Fast/Feast Take II!

Today marked the official end to my first day of juicing. I had an orange-collards-spicy basil juice accompany me to work and I cheated and had a banana smoothie when I got back from work. I am honestly amazed at … Continue reading

Savage race II

So, the Savage Race was a week ago and I am still on a high about it. I got an email form the organizers about a Fall race and I am seriously considering it. The loser friend I participated with got her fill of obstacle races and vowed that she would never participate in a race like this again. Of course I feel very differently as I enjoyed it immensely. My one gripe was having to pay $10 for parking and a $20 spectator entry fee for my personal photographer but other than that, I have no complaints. I briefly considered maybe organizing or joining a team for the Fall race but I think I am too much of a solo competitor. While we did not exactly have a team strategy in place, my friend and I did sign up for the race together and I guess that may have made us a pseudo-team. Unfortunately I regret to say that I left her behind one mile into the race. In my defense, she was going too slowly and I was trying to make good time! I know I know, thats not an excuse because were it not for people sitting at the top of the obstacle Colossus – 40 foot wall you scale with a rope, I would not have made it to the top. By  the time I made it to the wall, it was slippery with mud and water and climbing it was near impossible without aid.

So the race began with Shriveled Richard, a nice bath in ice cold water. There was truck parked right next to the “bath tub” filled with ice for replenishment in case the bath was not icy enough. While I was well aware of this obstacle and jumped right in, I was not prepared for the physical shock it caused my body. It took a few seconds to complete and that was plenty. Miles went by and I came upon Nutt Smasher – balance beam on crack! The beam wobbles, is slippery from contestants falling in and splashing the beams and down right difficult. I was determined to cross and not end up in the water and I did although I think the volunteer in charge of  the obstacle got a little frustrated with my pace. Whatever, I finished it and thats all that mattered to me. As I jogged off feeling quite pleased with myself, I saw Davy Jones’ Locker looming up ahead and stopped in my tracks. This is an over 25 ft jump into 12 ft of water with a caution sign at the bottom of the stops stating that it is for experienced swimmers. Now I am by no means a swimmer as I have a phobia for large bodies of water and don’t even know if I can tread water but I was determined not to pass any obstacles. As I climbed the steps to the top, I kept up a dialogue in my head psyching myself up for the task ahead. Once it was my turn, I took a deep breath and jumped! Before jumping in, I had asked one of the volunteers how deep the water was and she replied 12 ft. However, after my jump, it seemed to take forever to resurface. And then I heard a voice say, I think your shirt wants to play peek a boo. It appears that as I jumped into the water, my shirt came up and over my head. I was being rescued by one of the lifeguards at the obstacle. He steered me to shore with his surf board and I got out. As I did, I realized that my chest felt unusually chilly, upon looking down I realized that my shirt was not the only thing that had come up when I hit the water- so had my bra! Pulling it down quickly and what I hoped was inconspicuously, I went on to complete the rest of the obstacles. Tazed hurt more than I expected it to and Evil bars – monkey bars on steroids, was the one obstacle I did not attempt. So there you have it, my experience at Savage Race. I am left with no regrets, no injuries and thoughts of competing again.

Fear shall not imprison me.

There come times in our lives wherein life requires us to make tough decisions. Sometimes it requires us to change the way we think or remove ourselves from a situation. Neither option is easy but often times before we even try we have talked ourselves out of it. Once upon a time, not too long ago, I had nothing. I lost it all and found myself at the bottom of the barrel with nothing and no one, at the mercy of anyone willing to extend a helping hand. The biggest lesson I learned from that experience was that having nothing can be very freeing and with it comes an absence of fear. I feared nothing and no one because the way I saw it, there was nothing anyone could do to me that could negatively affect me – meaning I was so low I couldn’t go any lower. There was nothing they could do to me that had not already been done. I remember telling a bill collector who threatened me with a lawsuit to go ahead at risk of losing his job because his company would spend more money in court fees that they would get out of me. I even added a giggle at the end of the statement; he was speechless. I found myself more emboldened than I have ever been in my life. I can honestly see why people who lose it all and become homeless prefer to remain in the streets. There is freedom from worry that exists when you have nothing that living a “normal” everyday  life lacks. There is no worry about losing one’s job, losing material things, no worry about enough money in the bank, no worries about downgrading or upgrading one’s lifestyle etc. Were it not for the value system instilled in me by my parents to strive for success and be the best I can be, I might still be hugging the bottom of my barrel today. As I picked myself up and my fortunes changed, I promised myself that I would always remember that while material things make us comfortable and may fill us with joy, they are not necessities to life and living. And while a job may provide us with the means to acquire the material things we crave, we should not feel obligated to remain in a  place that does not make us happy or leave us feeling fulfilled. In short, I never want the fear of losing anything to keep me imprisoned in any situation.

Presently, I find myself once more in a defining moment and while I can’t quite explain it, it feels different this time around. Lately I have begun to fall victim to fear but I am determined to conquer it once again. I am going to make a decision that will change me and my life but it must be done.

I have a new blog!

Announcement-photo
When I first started this blog, I struggled to find a topic. I am extremely random and I found that the posts tended to be all over the place. I recently embarked on a health and fitness journey which started with a juice cleanse. This cleanse has led me to explore health and fitness in ways that I once perceived as inconceivable. I would love to share that journey but at the same time, I would like to keep an outlet where i can be random and blog about anything. Therefore, I created a new blog that will focus solely on my health and fitness journey. You can check out my very post here and do follow or subscribe to it so that learn more about what the past month and half has been like for me and what the future holds for me post juice cleanse.The blog is very sterile at the moment as I using a new computer and can barely find the backspace button! It is a work in progress like myself but we will get it together!

5 things I wish I could unhear

Have you ever heard something and immediately wished you could unhear it? Or seen something and wished you could wash your eyes out with rewind soap? While in college I used to visit sites like http://www.uselessjunk.com, http://www.collegehumor.com etc: these sites are filled with stupid, nasty and hideous pictures and videos. But because I have a very healthy sense of curiosity, morbidity and plain stupid, I would watch these videos with glee and trepidation. As I lay in bed last night I wondered of all the nasty, disgusting and vile things I have heard and listened to willingly, which of them I wish I had never heard. For the virgin ears and eyes that may read this, I am not going to define the terms, but if are brave enough, you can click on the words and learn something new today! Continue reading

I miss my friend

I have forgotten what it’s like to be a friend: a good friend.

Let me rephrase that, I am nostalgic for the times I was a good friend and had a good friend.

I have no shortage of friends in my life.

A good, close friend, I lack.

I want to call you and share when I see something funny.

I want to be so annoyed at you that I stop talking to you.

And then laugh about how silly we both acted.

I want be there for you when no one else will.

I want you to “call me out” when no one else does.

I want to travel with you and share new experiences with you.

I miss my friend.

Is the reason why we don’t talk anymore that valid?

Can our friendship recover?

Will our friendship recover?

Will we ever be friends again?

Will I ever have a good friend like you again?

Rugrats

Today I took my niece to see the Wiggles on their farewell tour. 3 of the original 4 members are leaving the group and therefore this was their chance to say good-bye. The concert was held at the majestic Fox Theatre in Atlanta and this was my very visit. The theatre is beautiful and seeing as my job offers discounted tickets to the Fox, I will most definitely be visiting again for some more adult fare. I love spending time with Victoria – the niece, and I have tried to do so as often as I can this summer. The constant chatter wears me out sometimes Continue reading

The power of words

Words are extremely powerful and I have known this all my life as I am a prolific reader. I read while I eat, in the car at a traffic light, at the dinner table with friends, in the bathroom, in the ballroom, I have even tried to read in the shower. While reading the words put down on paper by another allows me to escape into my imagination, putting down my thoughts on paper allows me to quiet the never ending chatter that goes on in my head. As I was writing in my diary today, I started thinking about someone I was upset with and what I would say to them if I could see them. Then I recalled the therapeutic practice of letter writing used a method to let go of disturbing and distracting emotions. With that in mind, I decided to write open letters to all the people who are currently living in my head rent free. There is the ex who transferred their feelings of inadequacy onto me and I have carried those feelings for almost 2 years, a friend with whom I am no longer close whose cryptic text message left me wondering if they were apologizing because they felt bad or because Jesus told them to. Another ex who re entered my life after a nasty break up and with whom I tried to rebuild a friendship but that friendship ended up feeling like the relationship we had, a family member who I allowed to treat me like a child and then they ran with it and last but not least my hair because we have a love/hate relationship!. I am not expecting to feel all better after writing these letters but I am hoping that seeing the words on paper will allow me to reexamine my thought processes about the situations, give me clarity about my feelings and enable me to take actions that will leave me in better harmony with myself.

My quirky habits.

My major in college was Psychology and I think it was quite appropriate for the way I am and the way I turned out.

As I checked my front door last night for the 4th time before going to sleep, I realized that I have several neurotic habits and it tickled me so. Therefore, for your reading pleasure, I shall catalogue below some of my… shall we say interesting habits.

  • I check the front door several times before going to bed and when I leave the house. I am always certain it is locked but I cannot sleep or leave if I have not checked it a couple of times.
  • I do not like odd numbers. If I am eating jelly beans, I have to eat them in pairs and if possible the same colours at a time. Continue reading