Yep. That’s where I am at. I don’t know what day this is. And truth be told, I don’t care. I thought it would take me longer to learn my lesson but I think I am almost done learning it. I am not going to make it to 30 days and I am currently making my peace with that decision. Bottom line is I started this cleanse for the wrong reasons and that was not good enough to sustain me. I still have issues that I need to deal with but a juice cleanse is not the answer in this case. My initial cleanse did what it was supposed to and now I have to take other steps to achieve my goals. I think some part of me expected my initial juice cleanse to cure all my bad habits including laziness and self-control/discipline but of course that could not be. Life is about constantly learning and improving and I am going to have to find my next learning vehicle. As mentioned previously, I will always juice but unless something drastic happens, it should not be necessary for me to do a 72 day cleanse again and therefore I will always feel a sense of nostalgia for that process. I am grateful for what it gave me but I need to move forward.
I know the first couple of days are hard and that it will get better but I am so ready for it to get better! I am know I am strange, but I watch cooking videos on YouTube in order to fall asleep. At the beginning of my 72 day fast, I was unable to watch any videos for at least a month but so far I have done so with ease every night. I had a smoothie this morning and made oranges, turnip greens and spicy basil to take to work. I did not finish that but when I got home I was craving something sweet and so I had 2 cups of banana smoothie. I felt greedy having two helpings but I reminded myself that I was indulging in something healthy. On to day 3!
Today marked the official end to my first day of juicing. I had an orange-collards-spicy basil juice accompany me to work and I cheated and had a banana smoothie when I got back from work. I am honestly amazed at … Continue reading
I suffer from commitment phobia: I fear commitment like a plague. I fear apartment leases, car notes, cell phone contracts, anything that locks me in for either a determined or an undetermined length of time. Every time I have to make a commitment, I either down play it in my mind or negate it’s significance to myself. The first time I signed an apartment lease I opted for a 6 months lease even though I knew that I was most certainly going to be there longer than that – I signed a new lease 2 more times, 6 month leases each time. When I sign cell phone contracts I have to give myself a pep talk before I agree to the terms or tell myself that all I am doing is paying the cost of the free phone I am getting. Likewise in relationships, I refuse to establish timeline parameters: I have never celebrated an anniversary because I never establish a start date. No start date, no length of time to count.
When I began juicing I knew it would be a lifelong commitment. Now almost 4 months after I started, I begin everyday with fresh green juice or green smoothies. That’s just they way it will be for as long as is conceivably possible. However today I took time to sit back and actually ponder what juicing had become in my life – a life long commitment. There was that dreaded word. I wanted to fight it, find some way to negate it but I can’t. Finally, at least for now I have found the one thing that can lock me in forever and there is not a darn thing I can do about it.
A few days ago, my sister were talking via text when she sent me this:
I created this blog because I love to write but unfortunately I seemed to be suffering from chronic writer’s block at the time. This blog was a way of putting out the random thought that seem to constantly flood my head, the happenings in my life, all in hopes that I would find the drive to start writing regularly again. When I started my 60+ day juice cleanse, I wanted to blog about it but I did not have a functioning computer and therefore I was unable to share the journey on my blog as I know I would surely have done. After I was done laughing my socks off, I realized that I am changing and of course this fact is apparent to those around me. I am currently making decisions that will leave a lasting impact on my life. Now for those who know me as morbid, also know that I am not actively interested in living forever. I just want to live long enough to collect my 401K. Nevertheless, as long as I am going to live with this body, my intention is make sure it is a healthy life therefore this is a major aspect for me and I feel the need to share it as it may help someone else as others have helped me get to where I am today. So dear sister, Continue reading
When I first started this blog, I struggled to find a topic. I am extremely random and I found that the posts tended to be all over the place. I recently embarked on a health and fitness journey which started with a juice cleanse. This cleanse has led me to explore health and fitness in ways that I once perceived as inconceivable. I would love to share that journey but at the same time, I would like to keep an outlet where i can be random and blog about anything. Therefore, I created a new blog that will focus solely on my health and fitness journey. You can check out my very post here and do follow or subscribe to it so that learn more about what the past month and half has been like for me and what the future holds for me post juice cleanse.The blog is very sterile at the moment as I using a new computer and can barely find the backspace button! It is a work in progress like myself but we will get it together!