It’s been a while I know. A lot has happened in my life. I have stumbled, fallen, gotten up and putting myself back together. I am realising how strong I am, what I am capable of and learning to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made. What I struggle with the most is not beating myself up as I am extremely hard on myself. I have learned the power of family and friends. I have learned that my capacity for love far exceeds what I imagined. My life these days is a mixture of realizations, lessons and becoming mentally and emotionally stronger. When I started this blog, I had just moved into my own place, I was discovering the world on my own and under my own terms, Today, once more I am facing the world on new terms, under different circumstances and with some fears. Nonetheless, I know that fear is not an option and in the same way I tackle new countries and new experiences, so too will I face and conquer this phase in my life.
So I have spent the last month contemplating my next move health wise. My initial cleanse served it’s purpose and I need to figure out the next step. I like to eat! I love food! When I am antsy I cook. So I have decided that for me to be able to eat properly, I need to incorporate regular exercise so that I don’t starve myself by eating too little. I started doing Insanity but my old back injury side lined me and took me out. In retrospect, it was nothing but a stumble that required me to change tactics but I allowed it to derail me completely. So now I find myself once more at some sort of impasse trying to figure out my next step. Tomorrow, I will be trying out a kick boxing class to see if it might be something I would like to do regularly and I will also begin Yoga daily. I have been planking, doing push ups and pull ups to gain some strength back in my arms. One day at a time.
I have an app on my phone called “Transform Your Life: A Year of Awareness Practice.” The app reads ” Awareness Practice is practicing living in conscious compassionate awareness…” So basically, it is the process of discovering the reactions that we were conditioned to have as children, dropping them and living free. This is not easy by any means. It requires that we live in a constant state of self- awareness and I cannot say I have been able to do so for more than 5 minutes. It requires mental strength and a willingness to be more open minded than we can even comprehend. Each day, you are given a task to carry out for the day accompanied by a quote. This was today’s quote and task
When I first saw it, I took a double take. Everyone knows it’s up to things to change; we just have to wait for them to do so. Yet the more I thought about it, the more the quote made sense. Why keep sitting around waiting for things to change when you can take the bull by the horns and be the change?
Yep. That’s where I am at. I don’t know what day this is. And truth be told, I don’t care. I thought it would take me longer to learn my lesson but I think I am almost done learning it. I am not going to make it to 30 days and I am currently making my peace with that decision. Bottom line is I started this cleanse for the wrong reasons and that was not good enough to sustain me. I still have issues that I need to deal with but a juice cleanse is not the answer in this case. My initial cleanse did what it was supposed to and now I have to take other steps to achieve my goals. I think some part of me expected my initial juice cleanse to cure all my bad habits including laziness and self-control/discipline but of course that could not be. Life is about constantly learning and improving and I am going to have to find my next learning vehicle. As mentioned previously, I will always juice but unless something drastic happens, it should not be necessary for me to do a 72 day cleanse again and therefore I will always feel a sense of nostalgia for that process. I am grateful for what it gave me but I need to move forward.
I know the first couple of days are hard and that it will get better but I am so ready for it to get better! I am know I am strange, but I watch cooking videos on YouTube in order to fall asleep. At the beginning of my 72 day fast, I was unable to watch any videos for at least a month but so far I have done so with ease every night. I had a smoothie this morning and made oranges, turnip greens and spicy basil to take to work. I did not finish that but when I got home I was craving something sweet and so I had 2 cups of banana smoothie. I felt greedy having two helpings but I reminded myself that I was indulging in something healthy. On to day 3!
Today marked the official end to my first day of juicing. I had an orange-collards-spicy basil juice accompany me to work and I cheated and had a banana smoothie when I got back from work. I am honestly amazed at … Continue reading →
So, the Savage Race was a week ago and I am still on a high about it. I got an email form the organizers about a Fall race and I am seriously considering it. The loser friend I participated with got her fill of obstacle races and vowed that she would never participate in a race like this again. Of course I feel very differently as I enjoyed it immensely. My one gripe was having to pay $10 for parking and a $20 spectator entry fee for my personal photographer but other than that, I have no complaints. I briefly considered maybe organizing or joining a team for the Fall race but I think I am too much of a solo competitor. While we did not exactly have a team strategy in place, my friend and I did sign up for the race together and I guess that may have made us a pseudo-team. Unfortunately I regret to say that I left her behind one mile into the race. In my defense, she was going too slowly and I was trying to make good time! I know I know, thats not an excuse because were it not for people sitting at the top of the obstacle Colossus – 40 foot wall you scale with a rope, I would not have made it to the top. By the time I made it to the wall, it was slippery with mud and water and climbing it was near impossible without aid.
So the race began with Shriveled Richard, a nice bath in ice cold water. There was truck parked right next to the “bath tub” filled with ice for replenishment in case the bath was not icy enough. While I was well aware of this obstacle and jumped right in, I was not prepared for the physical shock it caused my body. It took a few seconds to complete and that was plenty. Miles went by and I came upon Nutt Smasher – balance beam on crack! The beam wobbles, is slippery from contestants falling in and splashing the beams and down right difficult. I was determined to cross and not end up in the water and I did although I think the volunteer in charge of the obstacle got a little frustrated with my pace. Whatever, I finished it and thats all that mattered to me. As I jogged off feeling quite pleased with myself, I saw Davy Jones’ Locker looming up ahead and stopped in my tracks. This is an over 25 ft jump into 12 ft of water with a caution sign at the bottom of the stops stating that it is for experienced swimmers. Now I am by no means a swimmer as I have a phobia for large bodies of water and don’t even know if I can tread water but I was determined not to pass any obstacles. As I climbed the steps to the top, I kept up a dialogue in my head psyching myself up for the task ahead. Once it was my turn, I took a deep breath and jumped! Before jumping in, I had asked one of the volunteers how deep the water was and she replied 12 ft. However, after my jump, it seemed to take forever to resurface. And then I heard a voice say, I think your shirt wants to play peek a boo. It appears that as I jumped into the water, my shirt came up and over my head. I was being rescued by one of the lifeguards at the obstacle. He steered me to shore with his surf board and I got out. As I did, I realized that my chest felt unusually chilly, upon looking down I realized that my shirt was not the only thing that had come up when I hit the water- so had my bra! Pulling it down quickly and what I hoped was inconspicuously, I went on to complete the rest of the obstacles. Tazed hurt more than I expected it to and Evil bars – monkey bars on steroids, was the one obstacle I did not attempt. So there you have it, my experience at Savage Race. I am left with no regrets, no injuries and thoughts of competing again.
I did it! I did it! Yeah I did it! I want to thank all my sponsors: my black work out clothes that got muddy but kept me warm and my Vibrams which stayed on the whole race and provided great traction in the mud. I do have to chastise my sports bra for coming off and flashing the crowd twice, you and I are done! All in all, I had a great time. I completed all but one of the obstacles as the modified monkey bars were too much for my arms to handle. And not being able to complete this obstacle led me to the decision to compete again next year and annihilate these bars. My mother says I have the bad habit of not acknowledging the importance of events or items until I am aware of external acknowledgement. This goes against my drive to become self reliant as far as motivation is concerned but there is some truth to her words. Upon completion of the race, I was proud of myself, on a scale of 1-10, between a 6 and 7. However, as I perused Instagram and saw the pride other runners were taking in completing the race and more so finding athletes and trainers who said the race had been hard or hurt themselves in the course of it, I began to feel a greater sense of pride. I faced each challenge head on and completed every single one. I did not place but I completed and that enough makes my pride soar to a 10! I am currently sore, bruised and physically exhausted but immensely proud of myself. I completed all 7 miles of the Savage race and came out victorious! Yay me!
The following are some shots from the race to hold you over till tomorrow when I shall tell you about my flashing the crowd while jumping 30ft into 12ft of water.
An overview of the course.
This is the splash I made landing in the water after the wall of death.
This was easy!
Now this was the wall of death. A lot of people either gave up or did not bother attempting this obstacle. I did and I conquered it!
Tomorrow at 0920 I will take on the Savage Race. 5-7 miles of obstacles designed to kick your butt. I am both excited and nervous as there will be electrocution and an ice bath and these are not even the worse obstacles I shall face. I know that completing this race will only make me more confident about myself and strive to become stronger. I started races because a friend forced invited me. I did not train for it and was amazed when I beat her: I was hooked! I am hooked mainly because of my competitive nature and this drives me through every single race. I used to look to others to motivate me to feel better about myself, to eat better, to workout more, but with each race I complete, I stop looking for external motivation and feed more into the personal cheerleader who lives inside of me.
I won’t be able to take my camera with me on the race, obviously as there are aquatic obstacles so here is a sampling of what I shall be encountering!
I came home last night with the best of intentions to blog but somehow ended up caught in a conversation about sexual phobias and pubic hairs with my friends. So it came 0500 in the morning and I was still awake. I joked to my friend that maybe counting sheep would help us go to sleep but to be honest, that has never worked for me. My imagination is so vivid that the sheep never stay sheep, pretty soon they turn into cows jumping over the moon. And then the scene is no longer Old MacDonald’s farm but outer space where the aliens join in for a game of beer pong. Yeah counting sheep does not work for me.
So when I started this post yesterday, it was going to be about plans to embark on a 30 day juice fast. I must tell you that the initial idea was for it to last 7 days but somehow I have ended up with 30 days and if I don’t start it soon I may end up at 72 again! I have to admit I am very excited though. There is honestly something very calming for me about being on a juice fast. I feel like I am regaining control of my food addiction, I am conquering it and showing it who is boss! It may not be the best method but it is my method. So in honour of giving up food for 30 days, I present to you my pictures of food I have eaten in the last couple of months.
… Okay I tried but Kahlo fka Moira (my computer) must be PMSing so sorry, no photos tonight. Come back tomorrow!