Day 2

I know the first couple of days are hard and that it will get better but I am so ready for it to get better! I am know I am strange, but I watch cooking videos on YouTube in order to fall asleep. At the beginning of my 72 day fast, I was unable to watch any videos for at least a month but so far I have done so with ease every night. I had a smoothie this morning and made oranges, turnip greens and spicy basil to take to work. I did not finish that but when I got home I was craving something sweet and so I had 2 cups of banana smoothie. I felt greedy having two helpings but I reminded myself that I was indulging in something healthy. On to day 3!

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Fast Broken. Heart Broken but mending.

A couple of minutes into my 73rd day, I broke fast: I had some steamed broccoli. I have to admit it was hard because I don’t feel ready to deal with incorporating solids back into my diet: what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat. These are issues I have not had to worry about for 73 days and now I have to slowly incorporate them back in and watch out for the bad habits. Although I had initially considered a raw diet after my fast, I now know that I should have researched it more thoroughly and made it the basis of my transition. I looked up a couple of recipes today and I am excited to try them! There are the raw burritos, the raw “tuna” salad and top on my list raw “egg” salad! Now I can’t wait to try them and had I been better prepared, transitioning to solids would have been easier. But then again we are talking about me, nothing is ever easy. So, now armed with more optimism and raw food recipes, I more optimistic about the transition. If dealing with this exercise schedule were only just as easy…

Random and slightly inappropriate: As soon as I get out of bed in the morning, the first thing I do is grab my tooth-brush and then sit on the porcelain throne for my morning tinkle. I end up sitting there way past the tinkle, thinking about the upcoming day or just day dreaming. As I was doing one or the other this morning, I reached down to either pat or lift my belly; It was like grabbing for something and missing it. I had to look down to see how I had missed when it hit me: I no longer have a belly. I have to admit that I spent a few minutes somewhat confused about what had happened but in the end, it only served to remind me that I have lost a lot of weight and I am not going back. I still have a body to sculpt and mold, so belly, you stay away!

Tomorrow we break fast!

I feel like musicians or athletes who announce their retirement, put on farewell tours only to come out of retirement months later. I know I was supposed to have broken fast last week but this whole eating business is a lot harder that I thought!

So today is day 72 of my juice cleanse. I did not intend for it to go so long but I just could not make myself eat. It is not that I did not want to, I just could not and the more I thought about it, the more I could see that there were elements of fear behind the inability to make myself eat.

One of my fears is not knowing the proper way to eat. I embarked on this cleanse to reset my system and reset it alright I did. I feel like I have been reduced to  a newborn nutritionally. I have to reintroduce solids gradually but I also need to learn how and what to eat.

Another fear is losing the identity I have come to recognize in myself as a juicer. While I will always juice, I think I am going to miss these last months I spent nursing juices and depending on them for nutrition. Not to worry though, I have another 60 – 72 day juice cleanse in my future!

The next is not so much fear as my competitive nature. I do not care much for running or training for races but I absolutely love running the races themselves. What keeps me going during a race is beating the people in front of me. I pick a random person ahead of me and that’s who I am racing until I over take them. Once I do, then I pick someone else. I know I should train so as to prevent injury, but my competitive edge is enough to keep me going in any race I run. Originally, my intention was to do at most a 12 day cleanse but then I met someone who was doing a 60 day cleanse and I just had to do it also. While on the cleanse I read about people who had done 72 day cleanses and I felt that I had to do the same. I toyed with the idea of going 72 days but as the end came closer I was so ready to eat. On day 59, I read about someone who went 100 days and again my competitive edge flared up. A part of me feels like not making it to 100 days is punking out so to speak but I also know it is time for me to eat.  I miss cooking, I am ready to savor different flavors, I am ready to challenge myself in the world of solids, it is time.

So I have some garbanzo beans soaking right now for tomorrow we make hummus and break fast! And if not hummus, we’ll eat Avocado! As long as the avocado is ripe. If not we’ll wait till the Avocado ripens! j/k

Day 1 Post 65 Day Juice Cleanse.

Day 1 Post 65 day Juice Cleanse and I have not yet broken fast. I had a dentist appointment this morning and so I did not eat before I left the house. After running errands, I stopped by the farmer’s market with the intention of letting my mind guide me on what I would get. Once I started shopping, I realized that I am not ready to end my fast. The are two main reason for this:

1.) As previously stated, while my cleanse did not begin as a means for weight loss it morphed into a primary focus unfortunately. I have never had a magic number I wanted to attain and even though I have lost a considerable amount of weight, the image I see in the mirror does not satisfy me. Because I can be extremely dramatic and over imaginative, I am hyper alert to any signs of an eating disorder but I love food too much for this to happen. Furthermore, I have started consuming larger amounts of juice than I did at the start of the cleanse so I know that I am not starving myself. Continue reading

My 65 day juice cleanse is officially over!

Today marks the official end of my 65 day juice cleanse and I can’t pin point one single lasting feeling. I am hella proud of myself for completing it. I don’t think I ever doubted myself when I started but I was not so sure of myself before I started it. As I type this, I am filled with extreme pride in myself…I did it! I am  as strong as I know I am and stronger than I ever imagined I could be. I have to say it again so that it can sink in: I went 65 days on fruit and vegetable juice (except for the occasional soup/broth) and did not let myself get tempted by food! I am nostalgic about my cleanse coming to an end. I am scared of what is to come and having to make the right decisions about food. I am scared of ending up back where I started. I am scared this euphoric feeling won’t last… Enough! No more negativity. I just completed a 65 day juice cleanse and I am proud of myself. I is kind. I is beautiful. I is important and I is strong. This cleanse proves that I can do anything I set my mind to. The only thing that can and will stop me is me. I went on this journey because I wanted to reset the relationship I had with food. I grew up eating 3 meals a day with no dessert and only drank sugary drinks on special occasions. When I started this cleanse, I had to have dessert after eating and while I had cut out sugary drinks, not long before that, water was the occasional and often absent liquid in my life. I did not know how to portion control, did not know what to eat or how much to eat. I alternated between starving myself and over feeding my body. While I did not prep properly for the juice cleanse, the decision to embark on the arduous journey was the result of a realization over a 4 month period that I needed to do better with my life. While I know that all the issues I had before the cleanse have not magically disappeared, I feel more confident about confronting and dealing with them, after all I just completed a 65 day juice cleanse! The FAQ I have been getting are: Continue reading

Let’s get Vegucated!

So, the plan was to get home last night and continue my lucky streak of blogging every night since I got Moira – that’s what I am naming my computer. However, I decided to go out in the streets and be naughty so that did not happen. However, 2 days ago something did happen. I became something I did not ever think possible but then again since my juice cleanse the impossible has become very possible. I became a die-hard vegan. I was firm in convictions and ready to spread the message of animal love and hate towards the man for encouraging the depletion of our planets resources through the over production of animal flesh for food.  My cousin even threw out her baby’s Similac in favour of Soy milk and had a talk with the almost 1-year-old about why mummy had to do it. Hours later, she was still calling to ask me why the world is such a cruel place and that she was having night mares. BUt I digress, let me start from the beginning.

My cousin is my hair dresser. Every couple of weeks, I go to her house so that she can accentuate my already gorgeous features but manipulating my hair. She used to have me bring a movie for us to watch while she did my hair and I would use the opportunity to introduce her to the foreign movie genre. Towards, the end of last year she purchased a Netflix membership and we began watching documentaries every time I would come over. It was while she was doing my hair that I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead prompting me to embark on my own 60 day cleanse. Continue reading